Dear Leah, weeds are ruining my marriage.
Flower Power: The Herbalist's Lawn
from: <XXXX@gmail.com>
to: Leah Wolfe
date: Aug 12, 2022, 1:26 AM
subject: weeds are ruining my marriageDear Leah,
Yes, it’s the middle of the night and I can’t sleep. The herbal knowledge you shared with me in class is coming between me and my husband. I tried doing what you said. I asked him to leave a corner of the lawn unmowed so I could start a garden.
But really what I did was clear out the grass. But by the end of the week, before I even bought plants, I started seeing all of these tiny little green things unfolding. So I decided to just wait and see what they were. I remembered you said that the plants I need might already be there if I just gave them some space.
Well, he didn’t like that. He mowed it.
Then I said to him, “OK, you’re right, I just wanted to see what would happen.” Oh he thought that was hilarious. He laughed and laughed. When he got control of himself, he blared, “I could of told you what happened. You’re going to grow weeds.”
OK. So after he calmed down, I asked if I could try again and actually plant flowers. Just flowers. He said OK. As long as I kept it under control this time.
So I planted some flowers. But all these beautiful green leaves pop up between the flowers and I can’t bear to pick them. I don’t know what they are when they are so small. What if some amazing medicinal plant pops up? What if it’s something I really need? What if….???
He’s threatening to mow again. What should I do?
from: Leah Wolfe
to: <XXXX@gmail.com>
date: Aug 12, 2022, 11:22 AM
subject: RE: weeds are ruining my marriageHi. Well, first of all I’m not surprised this is happening to you. Becoming mystified by weeds is a common side effect of learning herbalism. Suddenly every little plant is new and vibrant with possibility. It becomes very difficult to weed at all because of the anxiety that this plant, which is too small to identify, might be the source of some potent healing qualities. Your curiosity has won you over.
Honestly, I’ve never met anyone who has recovered from this.
I mean, sorry, that sounds a bit desperate, but really the cure is to learn every single little weed and what it looks like as a tiny seedling so that you can learn which plants can be removed and which should be given some space.
That said, I don’t want this to continue to trouble your marriage. Perhaps you can make a nice pot of peppermint or chamomile tea to calm and clarify your minds and then sit down and talk about your anxiety about pulling weeds. Perhaps if he understands that this is likely a permanent condition that you’ll have to manage by learning each plant as it comes along, he’ll come around.
Let me know how it goes.
This story sprouted from my story, A Prelude: On Lawns and Misanthropes, which was in turn inspired by the Caravan Writers Collective writing prompt on summer habits. I’m now fictionalizing some of the emails and stories I received from students over the years on the conflicts that grew out of the process of learning herbalism. I’m working on creating both free and paid stories to raise money for the new space we are building for learning and working on herbs, making maple syrup, and spending healing time in the forest. See our progress and make a donation here or become a paid subscriber. Plus, I am working on converting my class, 100 Uses of Plantain, into an online format. Stay tuned!
